Managing Newborn Sleep With A Velcro Baby Using Shift Work (The method no one is talking about)
I am often asked by friends how to best support a breastfeeding mother during the newborn phase in order to get her the much-needed rest her postpartum body desperately requires.
In the first few weeks of newborn life, the demand on the mother can seem relentlessly high especially if the mother is breastfeeding. Establishing a good latch, the milk coming in, establishing supply, cluster feeding, winding, etc seem endless. My partner would often feel helpless in easing the load. We were blessed with an extremely affectionate velcro baby who liked to be attached to us at all times of the day and whose tummy upset and birth trauma meant that lying on her back was uncomfortable and thus she resisted any attempts to be laid down. This meant that somebody had to be awake holding her at all time! I had not even considered that this might be my postpartum reality. Anyone I spoke to declared that their baby slept in their cot straight away and for ever-increasing periods. Once I was able to drop the idea that I was failing as a mother or doing something wrong I was able to find a solution. So this is the system that worked for us and allowed us to be able to rest and recuperate and to function effectively as parents during the day. If you are blessed with a snuggly velcro baby try giving this a try to maximize rest within your household.
Initially, we had to decide who was the morning person and who was the night owl. This was the first stumbling block as we are both night owls but I pulled the postpartum card. My postpartum hormones were causing some insomnia and I was finding it easier to sleep in the early hours of the morning. After this, we set up a shift work routine for bedtime. My partner would go to bed sometime between 7 and 8 and sleep until 2/3 am. During this period I would watch things on my phone, listen to podcasts, message my friends all my ‘is this normal fourth-trimester questions’, have long chats with other mums up in the night breastfeeding and spend hours reading through @heysleepybaby content which was an invaluable resource I stumbled across. We would then switch over and from 2 ish my partner would sit in the armchair in our room with our baby and catch up on work emails, watch endless youtube videos and binge-watch Netflix. Our little girl would need nursing during this period so my partner would wake me and she would latch, feed, wind, and drift back off. Often the winding would take a long time so my partner would take her and leave me to sleep and then bring her back when it was time to nurse again or she was rooting for the breast.
Taking shifts in this way allowed us to both get six hours of sleep overnight. Even though mine was somewhat broken I found this a lifeline in being able to function during the day. At some point during the day, we would both take a nap and this top up along with the six hours overnight worked well for us in helping us to manage our circadian rhythms and mental health amid sleep deprivation.
Finding information and resources such as those on @heysleepybaby and the holistic sleep world community in general was invaluable in helping me to normalise what was happening and find a way of managing this season of parenting.
For soon-to-be parents and parents of a newborn, you will want to check out our Newborn Bundle. The Baby Bundle is everything you need to set yourself up for the newborn stage. The Newborn Masterclass: The only newborn sleep course you’ll need. This class helps new parents stress less about sleep, so they can actually ENJOY the newborn stage! The Ultimate Crib & Bed Guide: A REALISTIC, stress-free approach to introducing some independent sleep for your little one in a crib or floor bed.
