I can very clearly remember my first week as a mom, about 6 years ago. I was struggling so much with breastfeeding my tongue-tied baby. It was excruciating. I felt like I’d been hit by a bus after a brutal unmedicated labor with 2.5 hours of pushing. I was tearful and exhausted, and felt like my entire life had just been blown up. While I was “happy” to have my baby, it wasn’t the profound bliss I’d been expecting.

Just a few days after I gave birth, I started feeling anxious again. How on earth was I going to manage the needs of two young children? We were in the middle of potty-training our son and he was still sleeping in a cot. There seemed to be a lot of hurdles in our way and I was feeling overwhelmed. I also felt guilty for being unable to spend as much time with our son.

One morning I decided to give an episode of RHOP a try and was instantly hooked. I immediately binged and what I didn’t know was that this show was exactly what I needed to start healing the pieces of myself left wounded by pregnancy loss.