toddlers who need support to sleep
If you have been following me for a while, by now you probably know you can’t spoil a baby. We hear so much about how it is okay to support your baby to sleep. But I want you to know, it is okay to support your toddlers and bigger kids too!
Toddlers don’t necessarily stop needing us once they aren’t “babies” anymore…. in fact, they often have INCREASING needs. Toddlers are going through lots of changes and they are more aware of them now that they are older. I’m here to tell you, night waking beyond one year is normal.
There are many reasons toddlers wake at night such as….
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We all do it! This is the most obvious, but we all wake briefly between sleep cycles. The ability to return to sleep depends on a lot of things like environment, temperament, etc.
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Feeds! Lots of toddlers are still waking for feeds. There is no magical fairy dust that gets sprinkled over your breastfed baby at 12 months. Many toddlers still wake to feed well beyond a year old. If you are looking to reduce those or want to fully night wean, be sure to check out the Night Weaning Workshop from HSB to do it in a gentle and respectful way!
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Busy bodies and brains! Toddlers are constantly developing new physical skills, bursting with language, and experiencing bouts of separation anxiety. Think- fears, potty learning, starting school, etc. This means sleep might be even more disrupted than it was when your child was a baby.
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It’s Normal! In a study from 2020 that looked at two large birth cohorts (between 1000 – 2000 children in each). The study found…
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The ability to self-soothe was relatively uncommon… the highest rate was seen at the age of 18 months, when it reached 50.2%
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18 month olds had an average of 1.1 waking per night
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2 year olds had an average of 0.9 waking per night
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“Consolidation in the nighttime sleep was seen during the second year when the frequency of night awakenings decreased significantly towards 18 months of age”
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Another study which used actigraphy (vs just parent report) found that:
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Toddlers wake an average of four times per night (though not all need parental assistance to go back to sleep)
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Toddlers tend to have later bedtimes, around 9:30 pm on average
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Toddlers sleep less than we think! Most are sleeping 8-9 hours per night (even though time in bed was over 10 hours)
One big thing we need to remember is that our kids develop and change very quickly. What they used to need might be different from what they currently need!
I think it is so important for us to meet our child where they are. Sometimes this might feel like going backwards, but I promise you it is not. As our children grow, so does their sense of self and their awareness of the world. Things like fears and anxieties are more likely to creep in, and the reality of the huge separation that is sleeping over night is a little easier to grasp. Your child might be away from you at daycare or school for much of the day, and they might be craving that connection at bedtime. This is why sometimes our toddlers or big kids might need even more support than they did as babies, and that is OKAY.
All that being said, it is still hard sometimes! Especially with multiple children that all need you at bedtime. If you’re looking to support your toddler with more independent sleep without resorting to sleep training, I created a Better Bedtimes Guide that will be perfect for you. The Better Bedtimes Guide will help you gain confidence & connection as you learn about toddler sleep, emotions & more.
Some baby sleep issues are red flags worth investigating. Download my FREE advocacy guide and learn how to spot possible medical red flags, track symptoms, and talk to your child’s healthcare provider with clarity and confidence.
As always, you know what’s best for your child and there is no age limit on when we should stop supporting our kids to sleep if they need it!
FAQs: Toddlers Who Need Support to Sleep
Many families wonder why toddler sleep looks different than baby sleep — and whether frequent wakings, night feeds, or resistance are normal. These answers reflect the most common parent concerns about toddler sleep patterns and how to support toddlers through normal developmental shifts.
Is it normal for toddlers to wake at night?
Yes — night waking beyond the first year is common. Toddlers wake briefly between sleep cycles just like adults do, and whether they resettle on their own depends on many factors including environment, temperament, and learned self‑soothing skills. :contentReference[oaicite:1]{index=1}
Why might a toddler wake for feeds even past infancy?
Many toddlers continue to wake for feeds beyond one year. There’s no magic age when hunger simply disappears — nighttime feeding for comfort, nutrition, or regulation can persist and is normal for many families. :contentReference[oaicite:2]{index=2}
Why does sleep sometimes get harder as toddlers develop?
Toddlers experience physical and cognitive growth — language bursts, motor skills, and emotional awareness — which can make sleep feel more disrupted than in infancy. Separation anxiety, fears, and developmental changes contribute to this pattern. :contentReference[oaicite:3]{index=3}
Does needing extra support mean my toddler is “spoiled”?
No — toddlers’ needs evolve. As children become more aware of the world and their relationships, they may seek more connection at bedtime. This isn’t about spoiling; it’s about meeting real emotional and developmental needs. :contentReference[oaicite:4]{index=4}
How much sleep do toddlers typically get at night?
Research shows many toddlers still wake multiple times per night, and average sleep duration — especially consolidated sleep — may be shorter than expected. For example, actigraphy studies report toddlers wake multiple times overnight on average. :contentReference[oaicite:5]{index=5}
How can I support my toddler’s sleep?
Supportive strategies include consistent bedtime routines, calm environments, connection before bed, familiar cues, and gentle responsiveness when they wake. Adjusting expectations for this phase can reduce family stress and help toddlers feel secure. :contentReference[oaicite:6]{index=6}
When should I talk to my pediatrician about sleep?
If sleep disruption is accompanied by concerning health signs (poor growth, breathing problems, extreme distress) or if you’re unsure something medical might be involved, it’s a good idea to consult your pediatrician for guidance.
Will toddler sleep challenges eventually improve?
In most cases, yes. As toddlers mature, sleep patterns often consolidate and night wakings decrease over time. These shifts are part of development, and while they can be tough, they typically get easier. :contentReference[oaicite:7]{index=7}
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You deserve to the
baby stage, not just "survive it."
And you DON'T have to sacrifice your values, ignore your instincts, or force yourself to follow a method you don't align with just to get your baby back to sleep.
I’m here to help you create a restful, sustainable sleep environment that honors both your baby’s needs AND your own (without the stress OR the guilt!) because, no, you don’t have to choose between the two.
enjoy!
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Wish you could help your baby sleep better without resorting to sleep training? Download my FREE guide to a good night’s sleep and learn 8 simple, science-backed tips for supporting your child’s needs.
Traditional sleep training methods don’t have to be your solution to better sleep.
SLEEP TRAINING ISN’T THE ONLY WAY TO GET GOOD SLEEP
