A Love Letter to my Postpartum Body on Valentine's Day
To my body,
This life has been hard on us, but you’ve been with me through everything. I’ve often been unkind to you - drank too much, skipped sleep, eaten poorly, kept you inside for too long - but you’ve always been there, getting up the next day, ready for what’s next, ready to move, to dance, to hike, to take in deep breaths and enjoy the day.
The ups and downs of the scale have felt torturous for me. The up, up, ups have been the topic of my obsession at times; the thing I like least about myself. You know this of course, and you still show up for me. You’re a real one.
After having a miscarriage, I hated you. I was so frustrated and mad; I couldn’t believe this happened. How could you do this? You powered on. You shepherded me through an objectively simple pregnancy and a 22-hour labor to meet the person I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet. Motherhood has been an incredible gift in so many ways, and one of my favorites is that for the first time in my life I feel so incredibly connected to you.
Learning to Love You
Eyes, you are red and scratchy from exhaustion.. The tiredness of staring at a computer screen all day, reading “Little Blue Truck” no less than three times a day, and night waking. You are purpose-built to stare into my son’s ocean blue eyes as he drifts off to sleep, imprinting his perfect face in my mind forever. You are perfect.
Hair, will I ever find you styled? You’re finally growing back after intense postpartum hair loss that left me with bald spots and a newfound love of headbands. You make my son laugh when your tips touch his little cheeks, and his belly laughs make everything better. You are perfect.
Hands, you are sore and tired from forgetting about ergonomics while lifting, cleaning, cuddling, cooking. The ache is worth it, though it's getting old. You are getting stronger every day and your touch, gentler. You are perfect.
Chest, you have nourished a human for 18 months. You fought low supply from tongue and lip ties and came back to provide nutrition, comfort, and connection for my son. I never thought we’d be on this journey this long, but I’m glad we are. You are perfect.
Belly, you are forever marked from the journey to birth. I always thought I would hate to see stretch marks embedded into you, but I love you. You show my proudest accomplishment. You were a warm and welcoming home for my son and continue to be a cozy place for him to cuddle up to - soft and cuddly. You are perfect.
Feet, I sometimes miss looking down and seeing you all puffy from being 9-months pregnant in the June California heat. You’re a size bigger now, and you’re starting to run. A toddler to chase after has made you more active and more nimble. You are perfect.
You Made us Parents
Body, you did it. You made us parents. You took the thing I liked least about myself and used it to transform me completely. You and I are forevermore connected because of this experience.
You showed up every day of pregnancy to nourish and nurture my son and continue to do so well into toddlerhood. You continue to show my own strength and build my confidence. When I’m finding it hard to be positive, you remind me that you are capable.
Thank you, body, I love you,
S
