my baby will only sleep while they’re latched
in this post:
Are you wondering if it’s normal for your baby to only be able to sleep while they’re latched to your breast?! Don’t panic – you're not alone, this can be common! A quick read through the comments on this Instagram Post will show you how many others deal with this issue. In this blog, we will cover why this is, what you can do about it, and how to move away from sleeping this way if it is no longer sustainable for you! TRUST ME - I have been here with a barnacle baby and come armed with a bank of tips and tricks to help move on from this phase!
why does it happen?
There is a reason why ‘why will my baby only sleep when latched’ has been googled so much, it’s normal! It’s an absolutely, biologically normal, infant feeding habit. Babies are wired to sleep this way. It’s partially those pesky hormones at play again but this time it’s a hormone called cholecystokinin or CCK! This hormone is released in the gut as soon as your baby starts sucking and makes them feel full and sleepy.
Sucking is regulating and calming for your baby and the most efficient way of falling asleep, staying asleep, and linking sleep cycles. So if it’s working for you then GO FOR IT! However, many nursing moms report feeling touched out, that it’s affecting their ability to get any rest, and that it’s simply not sustainable anymore for their baby to stay latched all night.
While your baby is not ‘addicted to nursing to sleep’, some babies do become dependent on it as their sleep association. This is only a problem if it's not working for YOU!
Putting everything else aside, people's opinions, the idea that it’s a bad habit, etc the only reason to make a change is if you want to! For lots of people wanting to make this change stems from it disrupting their sleep and wanting to share the load of getting their baby to sleep and therefore needing to get their baby to sleep without nursing! The gentlest way to do this is to practice unlatching and building in other sleep associations.
First: ruling things out
Now that you know why babies might love staying latched, you want to be sure that’s all it is to be sure no feeding issues are missed. Also, before you start changing anything like removing this as a sleep association or night weaning, it's important that you have ruled out any underlying reasons why your infant might have such a strong link to staying latched.
Sometimes babies will fall asleep while breastfeeding, but they haven’t quite finished a feed. This is usually because they are tired and the sucking relaxes them and they drift off. This is normally nothing to worry about and happens more when they are still quite young. Try tickling their feet to help them stay awake while they are feeding. Sometimes they will get a letdown after having been sleeping for a while and they can dream feed (The signs of a full baby are a relaxed posture, open and relaxed hands, visible audible swallowing, and softened breasts).
They’re fulfilling a sensory need. If your baby truly needs to suck all night long, and you’re quite sure that they are getting full feedings, it may be worth checking in with an SLP or OT specialized in infants. Remember that sucking is self-regulatory and VERY normal for babies to do, and for most it’s totally normal. However if you’re seeing other signs and symptoms of your little one being more “sensory seeking” it can’t hurt to get an evaluation.
Some babies are truly still hungry and this is the reason behind their need to stay latched. They may be asleep or awake, but they want to be permanently latched on. This can be a signal that there is something not quite right in the breastfeeding relationship.
GET HELP. Feeding support is worth its weight in gold! An IBCLC can help you get to the route cause of this, whether it's positioning, tongue tie, latch, supply, etc. Sometimes it is also just a phase such as teething or separation anxiety and this is worth riding out before making changes!
moving on from staying latched and nursing to sleep
If you think it is just a preference but it’s not working and you would like to move on from it, that’s also totally OK! This is the approach I would use to practice unlatching your baby:
1. Wait until your baby is asleep – not actually feeding but just fluttering or comfort sucking – no audible swallowing.
2. Slide your little finger into the corner of your baby’s mouth to break the seal.
OR gently press on the baby's chin to release the latch.
3. If they begin to fuss then gently distract them with another sleep association such as ssshing, bum patting, standing up and rocking, singing etc. These are MY go-to ones – find what works for you!
4. If the fussing escalates and they get more upset, offer your breast back and start the process again. Some babies will allow you to try again within the same feed and others will require you to wait until the next feeding. It all depends on their temperament, how tired they are etc.
5. If your goal is to move on from staying latched to being able to put them down, then add this stage once you have successfully unlatched them for a few naps. The transition from being unlatched to being put down is a huge leap, smaller stages such as being unlatched but in your arms and then your arms to being put down is a much smaller transition for your baby to begin to feel comfortable with.
6. If your ultimate goal is to move on from nursing to sleep, then you could practice unlatching just before they have fallen asleep and add in your sleep association of choice. This is a bigger change than unlatching whilst asleep and may take a while longer for them to get the hang of it. I have a blog post about this here and a much more detailed approach in my course.
7. Be patient! It is a practice and a change for your baby. You are gently and lovingly building a tolerance for being off the breast/nipple.
REMEMBER this is only a problem if it's not working for YOU but if it is and you want to make changes give this a go. If your little one is over 12 months and you’re ready to start learning about how and when to night wean, you can check out the Night Weaning Workshop here. For all things baby sleep, make sure to check out the Newborn Masterclass which has everything you need to know about sleep for those first 18 months!
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