How to Support New Parents

in this post:

• what should you do for new parents?

• what not to do with new parents

When a new baby is born, so is a new set of parents. And along with the bliss and excitement of a new baby also comes the exhaustion and huge adjustment period for the parents. In fact, having a baby is often referred to as the biggest change in life! So before you run over to meet a newborn baby or bombard the new parents with lots of questions, read this handy guide to discover how you can best support new parents.

What Should You Do for New Parents?

• tell the new mom that she looks great and that you’re super proud of her!

• tell the new parents that they’re doing a wonderful job and that their baby is perfect.

• ask the new parents what food or drinks they need and offer to bring it over (freezer meals are amazing!) and/or have food delivered to their house. you can use DoorDash, UberEats, GrubHub, etc. to make it super easy for you and effortless for them.

• ship or drop off grocery gift cards, diapers, wipes, coffees and pastries, etc. little gestures mean the world!

• support the new parents’ decisions about feeding, sleeping, etc. without judgment or lots of questions. lend an ear and let them vent and talk about the birth, how tired they is, or whatever else they needs to get off their chests.

• ask if they’d like you to walk their dog or take care of their other kids for a while.

• if you visit, wash some dishes or throw in a load of laundry before you leave.

• a few weeks and months after the baby is born, check in on the new parents again and ask if they’re doing OK. most of the help begins and ends after the first few days, and many coparents have to go back to work after just a week or two, leaving the new mother all alone. checking in often, even just via text, or offering to drop off food, go for a walk, etc. can make a world of difference.

what not to do with new parents

• show up unannounced

• stay longer than 30 minutes

• demand to hold the baby, especially without washing your hands first

• wear strong perfumes or scents when you visit

• go on and on about your own birth experience. let the new mom share hers and listen.

• ask personal questions about her labor and delivery. she’ll share if she wants to do so.

• ask for them to get you anything. help yourself to water or tea and bring some to the parents as well. and don’t leave a mess behind.

• give your opinions about how the new parents choose to approach feeding, sleeping, etc.

• comment negatively about the new mom’s body or any changes you notice

• comment about the baby’s size. Parents can become insecure around baby’s weight especially if they are struggling with feeding. don’t comment on how “chunky” or “tiny” baby is, just say they’re adorable

• ask if or when the new mom is going back to work. if she wants to share, she will

• ask when they’re having another baby

• ignore the other kids or pets in the house. remember that it’s an adjustment for everyone, and they still need attention too! you may even decide to bring a little gift for the big sibling(s) so they can feel extra special and welcomed.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that new parents really need exactly what new babies need—love, affection and support! By following the tips above, you can show new parents that they’re doing an amazing job and that they can lead on you for every step of this new journey.